How to figure out exactly what to do in two easy steps.
Clients frequently ask how to get things done.
Startup founders want to know how to raise money. “How do I do it? Should I get a loan? Should I raise equity? What interest rate should I charge? How much should I raise? Who do I talk to? Where do I begin?”
Executives want to know, “How do I ask for a raise? Should I mention a dollar amount? Aim high? Go 20% above what I’m getting? What job title should I ask for? Who do I talk to? Where do I begin?”
They’re asking for a formula.
I don’t have a formula that works for someone else. The good news is that it’s easy to figure out what to do. The even better news is that you already know.
Here’s a how-to based on how I respond to these client questions.
Step 1: Decide how do you want to feel when you’re engaged in the process. Project into the future and picture yourself in the conversation. Get really specific.
Do you want to be excited when you’re asking for a promotion?
Challenged by negotiating for a raise?
Curious about the recent companies the investor you’re talking with has made?
Full of conviction when you are proposing a new project?
Step 2: What do you need to be thinking when you are feeling that emotion?
When’s the last time you experienced that feeling? Pretend right now that you are in that past situation you’re conjuring up.
What’s the feeling? It doesn’t have to be a comfortable one, but start by picking one that won’t put you into high anxiety, fight-or-flight mode.
What were you thinking at that time?
Now, what’s the thought you need to formulate to recreate the emotion when you’re going after the next thing you really want?
For example, if you want a promotion, and you want to feel excited, could you choose to think:
I know I can contribute more to the organization, or
I want to take on a new challenge.
If you’re asking an investor for money, and you want to be curious, could you choose to think:
I’d like to know what this investor’s investment priorities are, or
I am here to learn if this person is the right investor for me and my business.
Your brain will show you what to do
If you can dial down the stressful thoughts — they are, after all, of your own choosing — you’ll show up in a way that gives you just enough energy to be engaged, but not so much that you’re frozen.
What’s remarkable is that, once you are in that emotion, your brain will tell you what to do . . . . or at least what to try.
Why is that?
When we’re stressed about finding exactly the right thing to do, we tend to seize up because we’re so terrified of failure. But if we can relax just a little, we still acknowledge the possibility of failure, but we’re willing to move forward to gain momentum with the less-than-perfect.
The foe of progress is stasis. The source of stasis is indecision. The root of indecision is fear.
When you’re doing something new, it’s natural to feel fear. We’re wired to fear change. So, faced with alternatives, our natural state is indecision.
Indecision keeps us feeling safe in the known vs. experiencing the possibility of unsafe in the unknown. But that indecision also keeps us from growing. You can choose to keep things the same and never to change. Instead, can you test yourself and put yourself in uncomfortable situations? You may succeed, and you may fail. But you’ll never know if you don’t put yourself in harm’s way.
That’s pretty much it. When you decide how you want to show up — what you want to be feeling — amazingly, next steps come into clear focus.
Maybe those steps are the exact ones to get you to your goal, and maybe they’re not. The point is, they get you experimenting, which is leaps and bounds better than doing nothing.
Next time you’re frozen, wondering what you should do to accomplish a huge goal in front of you, pause for a moment, and consider that the answer is easy. Decide how you want to show up and what you need to be thinking to be in that state of mind. Your brain will show you the way.