Don’t blame your job. Love it before you leave it.
You’re in a job you hate. Sunday nights fill you with dread as you contemplate going into work the next day. Your stomach is tied into knots. You’re going through the motions at work, not enjoying the process — and sometimes you don’t even care. Your job is sucking your energy and drive. You’re thinking of quitting.
Don’t quit until you’ve done the real work of loving your job.
Take a moment to think about your job. What comes up?
If you are unhappy at work, you probably thought about your difficult boss, lack of direction or resources, challenging colleagues, having to do things you don’t love — all very real, but all outside of you.
Of course, in some circumstances, like if your boss is a bully, or if harassment is tolerated, cutting ties may be best.
The great news is that by observing how you’re responding to what’s happening around you, you can learn to love your job without making a single external change.
If you don’t take this crucial step, you’ll keep creating the same situation again and again, wondering why you struggle to find meaning, and why you have a sneaking suspicion you’re not living up to your potential.
What’s the cost of not learning to love your job?
When you blame things outside of you for how you feel:
You stay confused, unsure what to do, and you just continue to plod along.
You feel stuck, never reaching high enough for what really matters to you.
You continue on a path you’ll look back on someday with regret, spending your precious time working, but never finding meaning, and not growing along the way.
You risk switching jobs, which takes a lot of focus and energy, without making progress towards what’s really right for you.
How to begin?
Step 1: Clear some time away from work. What comes up?
Are you:
Restless? Anxious about work not getting done?
When we default to working, we may be keeping our minds busy to avoid negative feelings. It’s the most socially acceptable form of avoiding negative emotions.
Hesitating to make a meaningful change? Maybe you already know what you really want to do, but you’re afraid to go after it.
Why are you hesitating? Are you afraid you’ll suffer financially? Worried you’ll disappoint others, or that you won’t get what you want?
Are you hard-pressed to come up with what you truly want? Are you confused about what really energizes you — the work that doesn’t feel like work? Why is that too much to hope for?
The goal here is to get clear on what’s happening in your head when your attention is not occupied by work.
Step 2: Separate what’s happening outside of you from your thoughts. Are you frustrated by a boss who’s not supportive? A non-existent track to opportunity? Lack of appreciation?
For now, set aside taking any steps to make a change at work. Focus only on one thing: Observe how you’re responding to the things happening outside of you.
You can’t change what others do or say or think. Start by putting your energy into what’s going on in your own mind. You may still decide that you want to leave your job, but if you do, you’ll have learned to listen to yourself.
Step 3: Decide what you want for yourself.
This can be the hardest step. We’re often so busy meeting others’ expectations that we keep ourselves confused about what we want.
It’s crucial for you to decide. Otherwise, you’ll stay in confusion, blaming things outside of you for what you don’t love about your job.
It starts with learning to love your job — right where you are today. Once you can do that, you’ll set yourself on a powerful professional path where you direct yourself towards what you want, instead of away from what you don’t want.
Contact me for a free consultation to discuss how I can show you how to love where you are professionally right now, and how to aim for a future you won’t look back on with regret. Even in an initial 30 minute session, you’ll gain valuable insights while you decide whether coaching is right for you.